TikTok's Dusty Ex-Boyfriend Effect, Explained
Whether you call yourself a Swiftie or not, you probably know about Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce's relationship by now. And, according to TikTok, the singer and NFL player have a bright future ahead of them, thanks to the "dusty ex-boyfriend effect." The theory was created by TikTok content creator Erica Mags and describes a phenomenon we've all witnessed before: A person spends way too much time in an unfulfilling relationship before finally ending things and, emboldened by their new freedom, rebounds with someone who's not a good long-term match. Once they break things off, they finally move on to a partner who's truly "the one" — the person they'll likely spend the rest of their life with.
Erica explains in a viral TikTok clip that Swift's dusty ex-boyfriend course started with Joe Alwyn, whom she dated for six years before the couple split in April 2023. The songwriter then had a brief one-month romance with controversial musician Matty Healy before linking up with Kansas City Chiefs player Kelce.
The TikToker followed up with more videos featuring other stars who have followed the dusty ex-boyfriend pipeline, such as Nicole Richie and Blake Lively. But is the effect legit or just a coincidence?
There might be some truth to the TikTok theory
The comments on Erica's Taylor/Travis clip were filled with people who claimed to be proof of the dusty ex-boyfriend effect. "That's exactly how I meet [sic] my husband," wrote one TikToker. "I got divorced, met a guy who cheated on me with his ex and got her pregnant and lied for months about it, then met my husband," added another. Besides these personal anecdotes, though, there are some solid reasons why the theory might check out.
For one, a toxic partner — or, in this case, a "dusty ex-boyfriend" — can make way for higher standards next time around. Psychotherapist Stina Sanders elaborated on Instagram: "When we date someone who isn't aligned with us or compatible with us or perhaps challenging, this leads us to getting better self-awareness, more self-awareness in what we do want and what we don't want in a partner." Sanders also suggested that not getting your needs met in your last relationship forces you to seek a healthier, more secure match who will respond to and respect your wishes. And once you find that special someone, you're more likely to recognize and appreciate your compatibility after having been with a not-so-great partner who left you feeling unfulfilled.
So does this mean rebounds can be a good thing?
Rebound relationships have a bad rap, likely because they're often viewed as a barrier to healing after a breakup. However, rebound partners serve an important purpose, according to the dusty ex-boyfriend effect. When you've ended a long-term partnership and are unsure about your future, a rebound can offer insight into what you need in your love life — and what you'd like to avoid.
In the case of Taylor Swift, "dusty ex" Matty Healy might not have offered the serious connection she desired. In fact, one source told People that their short-lived relationship was always "casual." When she was ready for something more meaningful, she likely knew she'd have to look for a different kind of partner to fulfill her needs. In this way, Swift's fling with Healy wasn't just a regrettable blip in her relationship timeline — it was a necessary step to her partnership with Travis Kelce.
Some experts agree that rebound flings can be a necessary part of dating. "People who start new relationships quickly have better romantic life feelings," Claudia Brumbaugh, a psychologist and researcher, told BBC. "They felt more confident, desirable, loveable. [...] They were more over their ex, they felt more secure." Just be wary of catching feelings for a rebound fling or trying to turn a "dusty" partner into a soulmate. Once the relationship has run its course, cut your ties — your true love might be waiting for you just around the corner.